Greetings again dingalings.
Back from hibernation! Missed me much? 
Probably not, but here I am, back to plague you again. Much has happened since I last posted, shan’t go into icky details though.In short, last summer was incredible; our unofficial D.E.A.S. trip rocked, med school was not for me (the other way around, actually), my favourite person moved out of the country, I turned 18 & almost married Samyuktha. Ah, and college, yes. That happened too.
In mid-June, I decided to get off my fat arse.. and entered the portals of Stella Maris to major in Chem, hee.
I have learnt many things from this marvelous institution. We shall not go into how many of these things are academic.
- An ocean of females is extremely frightening. This ocean is what whacks you in the face when you walk into Stella for the first time. The ones that are perpetually giggling and sending ‘I-know-something-you-don’t’ looks at innocent mortals walking around cause the most mental infliction. Running away does not help; females, they’re everywhere! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
- It gets better, though. Much better.
- There are loadsa people shorter than I am. Seriously. Hey, I might even push it and classify myself into the ‘average height category.
- Crows are infinitely evil creatures. Even more evil than pigeons, and that.. is saying something.
- Because of the aforementioned creatures, it is advisable to sit at the canteen area with an umbrella. Unless you envy my predicament. Also, never choose to gape at the sky while sitting under their oh-so-beautiful trees; this one needn’t be tested.
- In some places, an appreciation society for socks is perfectly acceptable.
- The library is a happy place.
- All seniors are not Cruella de Vils, they’re kickarse.
- Some of the above even do Victory Bum Dances. All Hail!
- Seeing wastepaper baskets on fire is a common occurance in Stella Chem Labs.
- College plays rule all.
- There might be something between my ears, after all. Besides rocks and cobwebs.
- I might even be losing my anti-social tendencies, just a bit. I don’t find it wierd to say hey to random people anymore. Joy!
- Some people understand when you go ‘ting!’
- Classes can be good fun when there is no Physics in your syllabus. BWAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA. Well, not until next semester, atleast. *sigh*
- Sanskrit. That which sapped life of happiness for 7 long years. That which most of us (the ones with sense) screeched about.That which we thought had ended with the 10th grade.
Well, SURPRISE! It’s back, and worse than ever. More on that later, wait with bated breath.
Now finals are done. I’ve survived 2 semsters, 1/3rd of my course, quite happily. And I’m home. For another two weeks anyway.. Yay! Ah, and yes, AIESEC happened too. I’m now a proud member of the TN department, the 9 of us call ourselves ‘The Fellowship’. What’s not to love?
I have taken to beginning my wonderful and oh-so-eventful mornings by broadening my horizons and intellect by watching ‘PlaySchool’ on the Australia Network; a delightful, bright and awe-inspiring show for toddlers. Charming, really.
‘Three little sausages, sitting in a pan.
One went POP, and then went BANG.
Only two little sausages sitting in a pan.
Two little sausages, sitting in a pan.
One went POP, the other went BANG.
No little sausages sitting in the pan.’
Poor phachacked sausages. The ideas they put into children’s heads these days.
And hey, since when has Humpty Dumpty texted his minions to invite them to tea parties? Gone are the days when all he did was fall off his stupid wall. Ah well. I have also spent large spans of time dreaming about when I own an octopus, which I will name Augustus Gloop, and nickname Gloopy.
Such is life. At the rate I’m going, my little sister’s going to be doing a PhD in Astrophysics while I sit open-mouthed, watching Barney the Dinosaur.
On the brighter side, I’m one among 10 who’ve been picked for a research scholarship to the IISc, Bangalore and will probably spend a month and a half every summer there for the next three years. I leave on the 11th of May. Wheee!
Here’s my inbox’s contribution for the day..
–
Traditional Economics
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
Indian Economics
You have two cows.
You worship them.
Pakistani Economics
You don’t have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.
American Economics
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
French Economics
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
German Economics
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
British Economics
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.
Italian Economics
You have two cows.
You don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
Swiss Economics
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
Japanese Economics
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
Chinese Economics
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
Russian Economics
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
—-
That’s it for now, shall bore you later. Until then, may your pockets overflow with the somber smudge turgescing from the wart holes of a Schnigerian Noseleech. Mweeeeeesh. That doesn’t even mean anything. Ta!
Gaya
